I'm getting divorced. I don't know what I'm going to do now. I can't tell you how embarrassed I am. It was nothing that I did, though-that's coming from her.

Talk to you guys later.

God bless you all and Merry Christmas.

Craig

Craig: Always sorry to hear about anybody getting divorced. It is such a blow to a person and one tends to think it is the end of their life and how can they get along without this "other" person. You may think that you can't love anyone else but you will find that you can love another.

Above all don't let this make you into a bitter person.

This may sound trite to you now but,
"Every adversity, every failure, and every heartache, carries with it the Seed of an equivalent or greater Benefit."
Napolean Hill

Somewhere out there is a beautiful woman, I mean beautiful inside, someone who will love you with all she has, a woman of your dreams just waiting for you to find her.

I pray that you can be with family members during the CHRISTmas season. You need to be with other loving people that you are close to during this time in your life.

Sorry to hear that Craig, kind of a crappy time to find out about that. You'll get through it Craig, if need be you can come party with me :snork_tan

I'm very sorry to hear this, it sounds like you'll be hurting. Like they said above, if you have friends and/or family to spend more time with, that is likely to help. Based on my own divorce experience, it takes a lot more time to deal with the feelings than a lot of people think. I advise you don't rush into serious new relationships and make the effort to get your head together again.

Women are a strange breed. Don't let one get you down. You still have a lot of things in life, and I mean a LOT. We are lucky this day and age to have all the resources we have. Enough resources to find more and more people quicker than you can imagine. Not like the "good old days". =)

Hope you can lift your head up and keep on keepin on. Theres another out there for you. No doubt.

Craig,

Sorry to hear about that. But on the bright side, there are 150 million more women in the US to try out. Of course not all of them are available and at the appropriate age but I'm sure you'll find a better replacement some day.

Chris.

Wow, Craig I'm very sorry. And you just got back stateside too :( Do you have any kids together?

I can't thank you guys enough for your support. I really didn't expect this kind of response.

I'm flying home later this afternoon to spend Christmas with my parents. I'll be taking 15 days of vacation and I hope that it can help me lift my spirits just in the slightest bit.

I really don't know what I will do without her. She gave me more than I could ever ask for and she was the greatest gift God has ever given me.

Again, I really appreciate the support, guys.

Craig

Women are a strange breed.

got that right...

Jeff-Sorry I forgot to answer your question. We don't have any kids, thankfully.

I am lost and feel empty, but I've had some good talks with my parents-who have been married for nearly 30 years. I am going to do all I can to go on being as optimistic as possible and to continue to try to better myself and work my ass off. My life is not over and I believe that God does everything for a reason-as hard as it may be to deal with. I just hope that there is a great upside to this. I need to have faith in Him now more than ever.

I am unsure at how active I will be on this forum as well as others for a period of time. One big factor in that is that this computer is roughly 10 years old and it takes a very long time to get anything done on it.

As much as I don't want to go back to HI (that's me being as positive as possible), I have already talked to a very good friend of mine that has agreed to stay with me until he goes to Iraq in March. That will be a big help to me as I would dread coming home [physically] alone every day.

To wrap this post up, I could not ask for a more supportive group of friends and family that I have-you guys included. I will one day do my best to repay all of those that are standing by me through the toughest time of my life.

Take good care of yourself and the ones you hold near and dear, everybody.

Craig

http://smiliesftw.com/!/grouphug.gif

hey craig, hate to hear about anyone getting divorced, but i know most things happen for a reason. even though you didnt like my car very much i hope you have a fun and safe holiday with your family. good family members can make even the worst pain feel minute.

I am very Sorry to hear This, Craig.
I remember you saying how much she meant to you, and please know that although myself nor many of the rest of us have never met you in person, in this most dreary moment, we are hear for you.
May God bless you for being the bigger man and stepping up with faith that all is not lost. Remember that partying it up and working yourself to death will not heal you, but just numb the pain. Keep your head up and try to heal from the inside out. We'll be praying for you.
Try to embrace your familly this holiday season, and thanks again for your service to all of us in this fine country.
-Jake

Man that sucks dude,I feel your pain.. try to focus on work and family.. what is her trip anyways??
i guess thats none of my biz really... I have never been married, but ive had my share of break-ups. best thing that i can suggest to help you get over her, (if thats what you want) is to go out and bone her best friend for fun.. a hot sister works just as good or better...IMO It cant hurt anyways..

it will either make her want you back, or just plain piss her off and make you feel better..

;) chicks love supras!!

pm me if ya want to chat..

Suprahero-Thanks for your comments. You know, just because we don't see eye to eye on what should be done to a Supra does not mean that we can't get along. I was not judging you, just being brutally honest (as I always am, I wish my former wife was) about how I feel.

Jake-That's one of the nicest comments anybody has put on here. And I have been keeping my faith in God and trying to keep a positive attitude about everything. I'm not big on partying and drinking so I will not try to fool myself into thinking that getting drunk will help. I'll try to block work out of my head since I won't be there for a little while and continue to enjoy my time here with my family. Thanks also for your support of our military.

Josh-I'll be trying to focus totally on friends and family while I'm here at home in CA. I'll deal with work when I'm there (not until Jan. 9th). I'm not going to "bone" any of her friends and she doesn't have any sisters. That's not how I roll. I'm also not trying to piss anybody off and make this a hostile situation.

I am going to be in touch with the courthouse we got married at in San Diego and see about having our marriage "annulled" (not sure on the sp.). If I can do it that way rather than going through a divorce, I will.

To let you guys in on a little more of what happened-not to curse her name, but to lay the brief facts out there... She met a guy on the 4th of July weekend (not 6 weeks after I was gone) and they were friends until they became more than that from mid-late Oct. to early-mid Nov. That was a nice birthday present for me as I turned 23 on Oct. 14th. That sums it up enough to give you all a good idea of what went down.

Much to my surprise, I am feeling so damn much better than I thought I would've been in a long time. I've been keeping my eyes open (if you know what I mean) and there are a lot of fine ladies out there. I don't see much of that in HI, so being here is a nice wake-up for me. I will not rush into anything, but at least having a female friend or two can't hurt. I also don't want to get into anything serious in HI since I'll be moving back here permanently in early Oct. '06.

As I mentioned previously, I am a brutally honest person and I hope to find the same in a woman some day. The only thing I can ever remember flat-out lying about was telling a blueberry farm that I think I had a Dr.'s appt. so that I could leave from picking $2.50 worth of blueberries in a few hours. It was my first day and I never came back.

That's about all for now. I haven't been able to sign on to here for a couple days since this computer doesn't let me most of the time. My parents are talking about getting a new one, so hopefully that will happen while I'm here.

Talk to you later guys. Your help along with the rest of my friends and family is beyond great.

The circumstances that led to this are aweful. I know you cared for her very much from just reading your posts. You are a strong willed person and I think you'll get through this with out problems. You're still very young and already have learned a valuable lesson. Sorry it happend, but you'll find a sweet ass butt rocker that loves to tell people to shove it and tell you how much she loves you!! I respect your honesty although sometimes harsh its what people deserve, the truth. Good luck and Happy New Year!!! :respekt:

Thanks for putting so much feeling into that, Nate. Everything is right on the mark, all though I don't know what a "sweet ass butt rocker" is... Maybe a girl metalhead with a fine ass?

Again, I really can't express how well I'm feeling so soon after the fact. I have had my eyes peeled and I wouldn't mind dating some time soon. Not that this isn't still having its emotional affects on me, but I've realized very quickly that I have to move on. I did care for Terri immensely and I will always be reminded of her since we had nearly everything in common. I will do my best to remember the good times we had and the fact that I did everything possible to make her life as good as I knew how to.

I'll talk to you guys later. Take it easy and Happy New Year.

Craig

Your sounding better already Craig. I guess we can get back to being big ego hard asses huh...haha...

Anyway glad that you are feeling better. The truth is we can LOVE anybody as it is a mind thing... Of course when we are in love it is hard to realize the truth of that statement.

Married couples that are having problems and so called "fall out of love" can actually "fall in love" again if they BOTH put their minds to it and can be just as happy as when they first fell in love... In marriages where one of the couple strays those marriages can recover if both work at it and even they can be just as happy as when they first fell in love... But these things take a lot of work on the part of both people. The secret is trust. Meaning that each partner has to trust the other no matter what dirt the other has done to them, again wearing his or her feelings right out there on the cuff so to speak where he or she may be hurt all over again by a partner who might stray again.

During war times we have a lot of problems like we are talking about herein. During WW II lots of men were gone for years without ever getting home and some of the wives strayed (some of the husbands didn't do much better either where there was opportunity) and many came back together and solved their problems and went on to happy marriages and happy families that lasted all of their lives...

Enuff of this olddawg stuff...haha...

Mr. Olddawg-Well I certainly am feeling better. I really thought that this would bring me down for quite some time and while it will have its lasting affects, I have recovered considerably.

As far as lasting affects go, nearly all of our hobbies went together. We both influenced each other a lot on some things and that is something that will never leave me. As I see it now, I'll be reminded of her for the rest of my life. I hope that fact doesn't bother any girl that I may have a relationship with in the future. If they (there is no plural "she") are a good enough person they will be able to live with that fact because they care enough about me and know that I do for them in return. I will make them aware that I only intend to remain on friendly terms with her, with the occasional email or phone call, and nothing beyond that.

I see no possibility of "fixing" our relationship and getting back together at any time in the future. Trust, as you say, is a major thing, and that is what is missing-which only she can be blamed for. Everything that has ever come out of my mouth to her was the God's honest truth and it always will be. She has done far too much lying to me to take her seriously.

As I think I may have mentioned previously in this thread, I am a brutally honest person. In any relationship I expect the same in return or it just won't work out. I know that I am considered an asshole by some people I know because I will tell whomever I have an issue with to their face how I feel about them-if it's necessary. I do not "talk shit" about people behind their back because that is a very cowardly thing to do. I used to do some of that, but I have realized as I've matured that I refuse to be that type of person. I will factually discuss people and their actions, but do my best to refrain from getting my personal affiliations involved.

I guess what I'm trying to say by that is that I'm a nice guy at first to anyone and I expect to be treated the same. If somebody wants to be anything but nice to me, I will be an asshole and I'm proud to be that way. I do not sugarcoat how I feel and I am flat-out with people.

Moving on... I will be going back to HI on Jan. 8th and will be there until I get out of the military in early Oct. I strongly dislike HI, but I've already been talking to two of my best friends there and they have already started looking at prospective girls that I could date (friends of girls they are involved with). I am actually excited to get back there now to hang out with those guys and go out and enjoy myself. I've never been much of a dater, but I now have much more self confidence with the ladies, so I'll put that to work. We'll see what happens.

Okay, I suppose I'll wrap this one up now. I still cannot thank all you guys enough for all the support you're giving me.

One more thing, Olddawg-Everyone is more than welcome to continue to be "big ego hard asses" because I can dish it out as well. ;)

Take care guys.

Craig have fun and enjoy the rest of your time in HI.

Also thanks from me and my wife Virginia to you for serviing in the military service and the same goes to all of the rest of your friends in the service. We APPRECIATE YOU ALL!!!...

Jim & Virginia
==========

Thank you both very much for your support. I really appreciate it.

Yo craig, i already pm'd you with my thoughts on the matter. again, sorry that things turned out this way. but, im pretty releived to know that the truth came out in a matter of months rather than after years. I personally wouldnt even think about reminiscing or romanticising any of the memories you and Terri had after July. Everything that occured in your life involving her between then and now is essentially based on lies. If you happen to feel Lonely or distraught or upset or anything of the sort because of the way things turned out, just turn the sadness into disappointment and anger. Id rather be mad than sad. I think itd be easier to move on if one were to focus on the things that caused the relationship to fail rather than the good times that one had. If one could put away the good memories and recall the reasons why it failed, its easier to move on. anyways, i think im just rambling now, so pm me later when you get some spare time.

laters
chris

I know what you're saying, Chris. There is some anger toward her for what she did to me and us. I switched to feeling almost all sadness after the initial shock and anger passed, but now I am disgusted by her behavior and angry that she did it. I try to think about it as little as possible, as hard as that may be at times. I'm doing my best to keep my mind occupied with positive things-music, movies, friends, family, the prospect of dating, the fact that I'll have 8+ months until I'm a civilian when I get back to HI and so forth. That's a huge improvement from the disarray that I was in shortly after "the discussion/confession."

It is a really good thing that she told me when she did instead of years down the road. She did not want to tell me about it while I was in Japan because I f'n hated being there. I am glad that she waited until I was back, even if she did have to do some serious lying to me for a while (that's not when the lying started, though).

All right, that's enough for now. I'll catch ya later.

Craig no matter what you know i'm there for you, but me being only a year younger than you will only suggest that we're young and there is plenty of time to find the right one. plus if she is so easly distacted from her love to you then she is not worth it. craig you are a very intelligent guy who has a great future in front of him, and your young and ambitous and plus you drive a tight ass Supra if she can't see that you're worth it then somebody else will. hang in there man it sucks but life is a MF isn't it.

oh yeah did you tell her to "keep this Love", just some words of wisdom from the CFH. thought you would like that. when all else fails there is always music and cars!

Mark-You know what's funny is that she told me after we decided to split up that she knows that I'm the best for her out there. What the hell does that mean now? Not shit. She also told me that I'm the second best man she's ever had in her life besides her dad who passed when she was 10. That meant a lot in a way but again, why not hang onto me if those things are true? It makes no sense and it goes to show you how mixed up she is. I gave her all I possibly could and she either had a hard time accepting it or realizing it. She told me while I was in Japan (pre-unfaithful times) that she couldn't realize all that I've done for her so far but she wanted to thank me ahead of time. She said that it would hit her some time down the road just how much I've done for her but at the time it wasn't easy for her to see.

Yup, she's just not worth it, man. I deserve to be with a girl that will give everything she can to me without question. There is no point in being with someone that does not bring the same to the relationship that I do and that hides secrets and lies to me.

I will be totally blunt with whomever I meet in the future about that, too. I hold honesty very high and I will drop somebody off (so to speak) if they want to lie to me, even about the slightest thing.

Later man.

Mark-You know what's funny is that she told me after we decided to split up that she knows that I'm the best for her out there. What the hell does that mean now? Not shit. She also told me that I'm the second best man she's ever had in her life besides her dad who passed when she was 10. That meant a lot in a way but again, why not hang onto me if those things are true? It makes no sense and it goes to show you how mixed up she is. I gave her all I possibly could and she either had a hard time accepting it or realizing it. She told me while I was in Japan (pre-unfaithful times) that she couldn't realize all that I've done for her so far but she wanted to thank me ahead of time. She said that it would hit her some time down the road just how much I've done for her but at the time it wasn't easy for her to see.

Yup, she's just not worth it, man. I deserve to be with a girl that will give everything she can to me without question. There is no point in being with someone that does not bring the same to the relationship that I do and that hides secrets and lies to me.

I will be totally blunt with whomever I meet in the future about that, too. I hold honesty very high and I will drop somebody off (so to speak) if they want to lie to me, even about the slightest thing.

Later man.


hmm... did you like just read my mind then write it in this post?

because im on the same page as you...

hmm... did you like just read my mind then write it in this post?

because im on the same page as you...Nope. That's all me.

I'm sorry to hear that the same thing happened to you, Joe.

That sicks man, o'well!!!!

Nope. That's all me.

I'm sorry to hear that the same thing happened to you, Joe.Well, I'm going to wait to hear Loki's side of the story before I take sides...

Well, I'm going to wait to hear Loki's side of the story before I take sides...


:snork_dep

Nope. That's all me.

I'm sorry to hear that the same thing happened to you, Joe.


well i've never been married but yeah ive dealt with some shady females before

true that for now on joe you should go after the old toothless girls that are just happy to have a nice young piece of meat take interest in them they always stay faithful(maybe it's just no one else wants them?) but any way if you play your cards right you might find a rich one!! how do you think i got all my cars. :snork_kis

just kidding kind of. my girlfriend now is only 23

Sorry it didnt work out.

Mark-You know what's funny is that she told me after we decided to split up that she knows that I'm the best for her out there. What the hell does that mean now? Not shit. She also told me that I'm the second best man she's ever had in her life besides her dad who passed when she was 10.
I am curious. How old are you? Early 20's? Females have a tendency to never say what they really mean. If you both think you should split, then it was the right choice.

Enjoy HI and the dating, Craig.
My suggestion to you is twofold.
All girls are viscious she-devils.
Make it your perogative (sp?) to trust them anyway and get to know them as if you didn't know that they were all she-devils. point being, if you let Terri turn you cynical, she wins. But don't leave your heart on your sleeve to get romped on again. Trust is so important, so start out trusting, but don't let yourself get blindsided. Use logic, you know the drill.
And also, be a jerk, girls like that. Any girls that likes you because you're a jerk is a waiste of time, so look for the girl that blows you off because you were crass, That;s the girl you want.
I'm late for class, God bless you bro.
-Jake

jake must know a thing or 2 he got heidi didn't he? and look she loves supras just as much as he does.

joe you should go after the old toothless girls :snork_kis


I wouldn't knock old toothless babes. A friend of mine used to head downtown every Friday after he got his paycheck to hook up with his favorite hooker ...she took her teeth out and gummed him head to toe and he swears it's the best thing he's ever felt. You have to use what you got ...or don't got ;)

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

I'm going to have to agree with Joe on that one..........ew.

I'm going to have to agree with Joe on that one..........ew.
.

Nick-I'm 23 and oh yeah, splitting up is the only way to solve this shit.

Jake-It's prerogative.

I won't become cynical, but maybe just a little skeptical. As I've so strongly stressed the importance I put on honesty, I will not be so quick to take everything that everyone may tell me as the total truth. If I feel that I'm reaching a point with a girl that becomes more serious, I think that I may have a little sit-down conversation with her to try to clear up any "fluff" that she might've given me earlier on. Maybe I'll try that once and it will backfire. Who knows until you try it?

I will also try to keep from getting too attached too soon. As I'm sure you know, there is no feeling like being loved by the woman you are with. Now I no longer have that. I will have to just let things happen at a relaxed pace and since I'm leaving here in early Oct., not try to get too serious with anybody. I don't want it to be difficult to leave here. God bless you, too, Jake.

So then, thanks for the on-going support guys. Take it easy.

How's 2006 treating you, buddy?

Much better than last year, man. I can't believe it's February already and I'll be leaving HI in 8 months. Well, I can believe that I'm leaving this hole it's just that this year is cruising by pretty quickly.

It's now so much easier to save money and my bank account is growing nicely. I'm going to set up a separate savings account for my Supra pretty soon-because I can.

Speaking of my Supra, I got it going on Wednesday night. I found out I had to replace the coil pack for it on the day before the night "the news" came. I picked up a used one and it ran right away. The only problem was that there was no pressure on the clutch pedal when I started it up. Anyway, I had my buddy Vinnie help me out with a bleed and service and it's on the road again. Today he and I put on the front half of my new brake parts-Powerslot rotors, Porterfield R4S pads and Goodridge SS braided lines (killer deal from HPF) with a bleed and service. We'll knock out the rear tomorrow and I'll probably clean it up some more tomorrow, too. I washed it for 2 hours on Thursday night and in true HI fashion it rained the next day.

Last Saturday I discovered that my Lexus has a nice coolant leak and it's not exactly driveable. To keep it short, since I can't stand that car, I tried some of that leak stop stuff but it only lasted until the following night. So now I've got even more money to put into that before I sell it. We'll see how that goes. I can't wait to get rid of it.

Yup, I've been keeping busy and I'm doing unexpectedly better than I originally thought I would've been. I don't miss Terri at all and I'm glad that she's out of my life.

I'll wrap it up here. I'll save more (even though it's nothing overly exciting) for another time.

Good to hear that you're doing good Craig, and I'm still waiting for new/better pics of your Supra so get on cleaning it up :P

Hey Craig, I'm not sure if you did or not, but when you bleed the clutch, use a little piece of vaccum hose on the bleeder. The extra fluid trapped in the hose keeps the slightest bit of air from being ingested back into the system. Heidi and I bled her's about every two weeks after rebuilding it, and thought we would have to replace the slave cylinder, then we used the tubing and it has been fine for nearly a year. Also, if you ever have problems with the slave, the rebuild kits are the same for turbo and NA, although the slave cyls are different. When we rebuilt the slave, it was like $90 for a new slave, $40 for a turbo rebuild kit and $10 for an NA rebuild kit. It even included the lithium grease. I only say this because there is a reason that the pedal was dead. You'll probably have to deal with it eventually. The seal was torn in Heidi's, so if the pedal goes dead again, look into the rebuild kit. ;)
Wow, that was longer than I had anticipated!
Glad to hear the year is going well, 2005 really flew by for me, and I'm thinking 2006 will be even faster...
Take care, -Jake

Thanks Brayden, it's good to hear from you. I'll see if I can wash it tomorrow and take some pics. The biggest problem there is that my apartment complex doesn't have a little stall to wash your car so I might have to drive a ways to a friend's house and bathe it there. It needs it since it rains all the damn time here.

Jake-Bleeding the clutch took care of the problem. I tried the bleeding method that the TSRM says to do with the vacuum hose and the hose was on the large side. I cut a little bit out of it and go it to fit in without any leak but my buddy Vinnie wanted to try bleeding it like you do brakes and that's when we really made some money with it. The clutch is working just fine now. Thanks a lot for the tips.