ChrisB
09-29-2005, 11:48 AM
My Dad sent this to me and it made me laugh.
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New Element Discovered: Governmentium
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named
"Governmentium." Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75
assistant neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an
Atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since
Governmentium has no protons or electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take 4 days to
complete, when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has
a normal half-life of 4 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a
reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy
neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually
increase over time since each reorganization will cause more morons to
become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
Morass." When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an
element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half
as many peons but twice as many morons......
------------------------
New Element Discovered: Governmentium
A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named
"Governmentium." Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 deputy neutrons, 75
assistant neutrons, and 224 deputy assistant neutrons, giving it an
Atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since
Governmentium has no protons or electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
detected, because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact.
A minute amount of Governmentium causes a reaction to take 4 days to
complete, when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has
a normal half-life of 4 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a
reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy
neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually
increase over time since each reorganization will cause more morons to
become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that
Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical
Morass." When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an
element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half
as many peons but twice as many morons......